ELEVENTY GAGILLION… times it took to get the lawn mower started
ONE… pathetic excuse of a lawn mowed by me today
TWO… very big dustbowls in the backyard that shit me to tears
TWO… long lawn edges I re-established through the use of a shovel and a lot of sweat
ONE… very stupid idea to try and rebuild the lawn in one of the dustbowls by transplanting all the bits I dug up in along the edges
FOUR… freak-out moments when I thought a spider was on me
FORTY… an approximate guesstimate of the number of pieces of grass I replanted
THREE… the number of iceblocks I estimate Jasper consumed while I was outside trying to rebuilt the lawn
SIX… the number of iceblocks he left to melt on the kitchen floor in finding the ones he liked (they are all the same)
ONE… very sore elbow. Shovel elbow.
Some jokes from Felix:
Q: What’s on your mind?
Q: Who was the best dancer at the disco?
A: the boogeyman
Q: Do you know why I don’t tell jokes about butter?
A: Because they’ll spread
Things I’m giving quiet thanks for:
Two “older” female family friends (or indeed friends of friends) who said things to me this week – unprompted – which were kind and gentle, wise and reassuring.
The friend I bumped into this morning while dropping Felix at school who just gave me a hug and said, ‘just do one room at a time’. Metaphorically speaking. It’s a good approach no?
Chef had the snip on Monday. It all went well and with the help of the Orange Food Recovery Diet* seems to be fully recovered. (I on the other hand and still having the occasional quiet moment of grief for the cold hard reality I will never have a girl. Sniff.)
* the Orange Food Recovery Diet is only to be called on in times of peak stress or need of pampering. It can consist of one or all of the following: CCs (corn chips), cheese and bacon balls, Twisties, macaroni cheese (it must come from a packet and preferably with powdered cheese mix, not the tinned stuff) and fanta.