Idol ruminations – the finale


Oh my giddy aunt what a weekend – elections, new governments, dinner dates, a thanksgiving gathering at the park and now the Australian Idol finale. Just for those maybe still caught up on yesterday’s vote, today is between Matt I’ve got a wax wand and I’m not afraid to use it Corby and TiNatalie Gauci-Arena.

 

 

 

 

And so far it sure hasn’t disappointed. We’ve had a significant technical failure, so spectacular Chrissy Amphlett had to go back to the beginning and start all over again. Even fix her fringe. I was thinking she’d aged well until Golden Boy tried to interview her and it was quite clear she’s mad as a cut snake.

Then there was the singing mum with the sweaty upper lip, droopy hair, unfortunate cinched waist by thick tan belt over an unflattering white pant suit. What was she thinking. She didn’t sound half bad though. Pity she didn’t think to take a hanky or tuck a tissue in her bra to dab the sweaty upper lip. Pity.

Rogue Traders came out and quite frankly, what was Natalie Bassingthwaighte thinking when she let someone attack her hair and tease it to within an inch of its life. It had it’s own atmosphere such was its size. And that eye makeup is going to leave some killer racoon eyes in the morning.

Is it just me or does a life as the new Jimmy Barnes seem to be taking its toll on Shannon Noll?

A tempting little teaser of our very own So You Think You Can Dance promo with some judges I’ve never even seen before and whose names didn’t even ring any bells, twenty dancers some of which clearly drew the very shortest straw and had to don the tribal outfit.

Ahhhh the Loser’s Medley. And certainly didn’t disappoint. Can you believe they bothered to fly Cosette in?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(aka Laaaaana wave your hands in the air to detract from the fact you can’t sing Croft). Even slut-red lipstick and a hooker outfit can’t distract from the fact the girl can’t sing.

It was a treat to see the original crew – I’m still sad Ben McKenzie didn’t get further but he is just one of those guys you know will tear up the Australian Arts scene. He’ll be bigger than Idol.

Ahh – all the people who’ve fallen out of my Idol’07 memory – hairy Misfud, Britboy Jacob, rocker de Costa.

Brianna makes an absolute fist of it as does Marty S – hers in being completely off key and his by singing too fast and almost pulling the entire show into the category of shenanigans. Great stuff.

There’s lots of cheesy choreography which is ambitious. I mean, lets just try and get these guys singing a hideous medley of totally unrelated songs in tune and in time without distracting them with crazy jazz hands and hip flexes.

Clearly the memo to expel the entire wardrobe department back to Slovakia circa 1984 didn’t make it in time and so Tarisai still has two pigs fighting under a blanket, Jacob’s wearing clothes two sizes too small, the boys are all wearing winkle pickers, Holly seems to be in some homage to mental institutions of old and Brianna is in various stages of a technicolour dreamcoat, which I know is largely of her own choosing. It’s deliciously compelling.

I need to announce that I’m kinda hoping TiNatalie wins. Can you believe it? Mary you can shoot me down in flames anytime now.

OK, so we’ve got the two finalists into the house. Unfortunately TiNatalie thought channelling the toilet roll doll was a good look, but next to Matt in a royal blue velvet suit with his Jane Fonda Hair it’s really just a fashion train wreck in technicolour.

We interrupt this broadcast for something Muz sent me a few weeks back that I’ve been saving up for tonight:

Cue obligatory ‘what a journey it’s been’ piece for TiNatalie.

OK some more singing …

I’m unsure WHAT WAS SHE THINKING.

TiNatalie’s singing The Man in the Mirror song again. But she can’t get her ‘r’s out. So it’s all I’m looking at the man in the miwwor, I can’t make it any clearwer.
Good grief.

Still, great hair.

OH GOD Mark Holden is an absolute goose.

Cue obligatory ‘what a journey it’s been’ piece for Matt.

He sings something. It’s underwhelming. And it appears he’s wearing red tights.

And the winner is….

TiNatalie!

I’m actually very very pleased and should probably start calling the poor girl Natalie shouldn’t I.

And that, as they say, is it.

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  • Kim

    How could I forget – Lionel Ritchie was in da house. That was kinda cool in just how excited everyone was.

  • bluemountainsmary

    Girl you are good!

    thank you for your fantastic summaries each week.

    And I am glad she won – you KNOW I have had a soft spot for her right from the beginning –

    Matt will do fine.

    Dare I say that the pre match entertainment was more entertaining. Chrissie is completely cracked and yes we were thinking that Shannon does not seem to be ageing well!! And I audibly gasped when Lionel ran out – and then ahemmed to myself in embarrassment – such an eighties girl!

  • Fairlie

    Can I say ditto to everything Mary said?

    Thanks for your running commentary each week!

  • Anonymous

    I just loved that Nat wore leggings on the red carpet (under her doily)- at least it improved after that. but the divinals were hysterically bad, the medley was such a token nothingness. As to be expected though i suppose – everything will just go tacky and low-brow and lowest-common- denominator now that we are completely over run with labour governments!!! ee-uck