Going back through all my posts I’ve discovered a few things:
– I really do have mental health issues don’t I
– the swearing has GOT.TO.STOP.
– I just seem so angry all.the.time.
– I haven’t actually posted that many diatribes about living with my mother as I thought I had
– and my weekends of old – when Chef basically worked all day and night on both Saturday and Sunday (which he didn’t actually enjoy either) – were really really awful.
So somewhere in my subconscious I decided to revisit the flavour of those weekends today and yup, I can confirm, they are truly foul for all.
So much so I hightailed it out of the house this morning at 9.30 because I was just raging about not much – how filthy the floors were, that there were two bags of rubbish to take out again and the recycling containers were full again and that chef thought to put a load of washing on yesterday but only washed his t.h.r.e.e. chef jackets, ignoring the rest of the whites on the laundry floor he could have put in the machine as well, how l.o.u.d. the boys were being, how bossy Felix was acting, how weepy over nothing Oscar was presenting and how obsessed Jasper is with Thomas the effing Tank Engine and how screamy Grover was being this morning. I walked over to the beach and walked on soft sand for half an hour, returning home to mopped floors and children playing nicely, but me still feeling irrationally angry.
And that was the day – irrational angry and unabated crankiness.All.Day.Long.
I even slept this afternoon for an hour when the two littlies were sleeping.
I even had a fantastic leg of lamb in the oven for a dinner of slow cooked 7 hour lamb – which I served with cauliflower and brussel sprouts and white sauce.
I endured two massive tantrums with Jasper and felt ashamed as the two bigger boys read my mood and tried to stay clear. And worse, make it better.
I am so glad today is over.