White bread moments

So tonight’s show made me think of a phrase my mate ED uttered about Tom Hanks when The Da Vinci Code came out. “Ughh. That man is just white bread on white bread.” She nailed it. You just knew if you pushed your finger into his flesh it would stay indented. All doughy and nothing. That kind of sensation that makes you do a whole body shake afterwards. That said:

Cheray Doughty (unfortunate surname considering my comments about. Say it in a ‘let me pat the rabbit George, let me pat the rabbit’ voice and you’ll get my meaning.) nailed it. She did a cheeky song – the name of which I can’t tell you because TWO hours after the show FINISHED the Idol website has not been updated – she owned it, she sang it well and she looked good. I love her and hope she goes far.

The rest of them I can barely be bothered to type about. You know that ‘meh’ sensation you get when you start something you know you have to finish but really don’t want to. Anyways…

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to our new Tina Arena. I’m serious. I mean, the girl – Natalie Gauci – can sing. But she just smacks me as our next irritating never-goes-away will sing at Carols By Candlelight great balladrear. She’ll have a career but make really weird song choices and join the club of singers but just not nailing it in terms of stratosphere like Tina and Kate Cebrano. She also wore black s.a.t.i.n. pants on national television. SATIN. She’s probably a size two but Kyle was right, never.do.it.again or balladrear will become chunky chops. She’ll probably have a huge following in Japan.

For Jesse Curran it’s unfortunate to have braces when you’re getting your big break on a national tv show. It’s also unfortunate to have a story break that you were the catalyst for one of Australia’s favourite son’s marriage breakdown. It’s also a really dumb idea to try and cover a U2 song sitting on a bar stool. She was pitchy and never really seemed to land on a note. She was actually one of my favourites but she was almost the worst performance of the night. Only to be outdone by our little Cosette…

Lana Krost has done way too much musical theatre. She sang Big Girls Don’t Cry and spent the entire time the judges spoke trying to do exactly that. Snore. Next.

Sally Van Der Zwart is everything I hate about the early series in Idol. Blonde, pretty, can hold a note, the end. Look, her performance was good but nothing any other blond pretty thing put through the system wouldn’t be able to produce. Also – just a little piece of advice – if one of the judges says that you are a mystery to them and may be as “daft as a brush” it’s probably not a good idea to just stand there grinning and shrug your shoulders because that? That destroys any doubt you’re not as daft as a brush.

Which brings me to Tarisai Vushe. This girl has an awesome voice. Awesome. She nailed the song she sang. The judges all rallied. But to be frank, until about the last 30 seconds she just looked bored. Or something. Look, just because you can belt it out doesn’t mean people buy it and I just didn’t buy it. The very tight pants were also unfortunate. That said I think it will be her and Cheray who get through.

Through from the blokes last night:
Matt and Jacob – all good

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