I forgot

on mother’s day, I discovered the cat had spewed in our bedroom.
Just another notch in the growing intolerance of all animal life.
Then, last night, in the whole Jasper doesn’t sleep anymore fiasco, at about 3am we finally relented because people, we have a child who – in the midst of us trying to teach him the “it’s dark so we sleep now” rule – screamed blue bloody murder for over three hours and we’d already endured an hour and a half of cranky screaming at around 10, AB trod in a new pool of cat vomit.
On top of the fact I discovered on mother’s day not only had the cat spewed in our bedroom, it had pissed in my wardrobe. I had discovered this a few weeks earlier when I pulled out a pair of (expensive) mary-janes and almost spewed at the cat piss smell – PEOPLE – the cat had peed in my shoes. So mother’s day revealed this was clearly a new predeliction of this cat, the cat that is psycho – that in one second goes from purring at your patting and attention to hissing and growling at you and flicking its tail in that angry “I’m going to really really hurt you with my claws of steel” kind of way. That pissing in the bottom of my wardrobe is perfectly acceptable.

So to all you bird loving native animal protecting people out there look away, because this cat, is now firmly kicked out of this house every night.

So there.

Oh, and I still hate the two stinky dogs who shit everywhere and have destroyed the grass.

Although today I started the “repair the relationship” path with them – I looked up two mobile dog grooming places – for Chef to organise because let’s not forget people, I – apparently – don’t have to do “anything” for these animals.

Next is the training program he can take them to.