Just another day in paradise…

When I told a friend today how I was, honestly, they told me they were a firm believer attitude was everything.
Thanks for that.
It kinda falls into the same category of my mum telling me to “pull your socks up, there are lots of people who would love to have what you have”.
And again I say, thank you oh people who have no fucking idea what clinical depression actually is.
As if I don’t know these things and challenge my attitude when I am depressed every fucking microsecond.
sigh Sigh SIGH.

Today started at 5.
I yelled at Chef at around 7.45.
Despite having been up since 5, I still didn’t get to work until about 9.15.
Which was the main reason I was yelling at 7.45.
I ate dry SAOs for lunch.
But was home by 6, made dinner (spag bol – with the most sensational bolognaise I made yesterday – and I don’t even like bolognaise), did homework with the boys and read all about the battleships of Star Wars Episode 3, which Oscar brought home from library today.
It was one of those nights where everything was lovely and happy and calm.
Chef just got home and has gone straight to bed.
Ahhh marital bliss is great isn’t it.
It’d be nice to tell him that I spoke to my boss today and am finishing work two weeks earlier than planned. Which means I have only 5 weeks of work left. Do you know how psychologically better that is than 7 weeks?
Anyway, just another day really…

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  • Jenn

    I have never had clinical depression, but, my sister and my oldest daughter have both been diagnosed, so I do know what it is like to live with someone who has it.

    Sometimes you just want to tell them to “Snap out of it,” and “Just be happy,” because as someone who isn’t diagnosed with clinical depression, it seems like an easy answer to me. After all, I can just tell myself, “Okay, I’m over this funk, I’m done being sad. I’ll find something that makes me happy and I’ll get over it.”

    I know its not that easy for you, and for the millions of others whose brain doesn’t have quite the right balance of “happy and sad” chemicals. For those of us who haven’t experienced clinical depression first hand, we really, really don’t understand what its like to be unable to control how we feel and not be able to just “Snap out of it.”

    I try not to be judgemental of my sister or my daughter but sometimes, it is incredibly frustrating. I try not to be unfeeling and uncaring when either one of them are having a particularly bad “down,” but it is hard. It’s very hard being on the outside looking in and knowing there isn’t a damn thing I can do to make them feel better about anything. There isn’t a single thing I can do, and that’s frustrating as hell.

  • Surfing Free

    I’ve never had depression either so I definitely don’t understand it … but I would never tell someone with any sort of illness to just get over it!

    I finish work this week!!! Hurray, hurray!! But in two weeks time I come back for two days to train my replacement … big boo! But it could be worse – I could have to work those two weeks 🙂

    BTW – do you get good maternity pay where you work? I get two months full pay so that makes leaving a lot easier.

  • Kim

    Jenn – I totally hear you on your frustration and sense of helplessness at watching two people you love live with something you can’t fix or trully understand.

    There’s no answer to that. John Brogden said some really interesting stuff on it today.

    I guess – and this is only my perspective – I don’t want or expect those around me to fix it or even to understand what is going on in my head, but I guess to understand the triggers that can send me spiralling and to help me in those early stages to lessen their impact. Does that make sense?

    SF – I’m at a govt agency, so yep, get paid mat leave. I’m taking a month of annual leave and 24 weeks on half pay.

  • Joke

    The problem REALLY is that you need a poodle.


  • joanne

    I am so tired just reading that post. You really have to find a way to let the “pull your socks up..” comments wash over you – I don’t know how although it is plainly obvious those people don’t get depression.Although you wouldn’t wish depression on your worst enemy sometimes don’t you wish they could have it for just one afternoon so you can tell them to “shut the fuck up!!!”. Hope tomorrow brings a better day for you.