So I stood up for myself on Tuesday morning rather than trying to be considerate/patient/the good one/etc. It was liberating and I felt a little of myself return.

Wednesday I had my midwife appt and gestational diabetes check. Despite the sugar intake of late, I don’t have it. Few. My midwife (who has been one of my midwives on all three pregnancies and on this one, with the hospital redesigning its midwife team program, she is it, my midwife. Very lovely conclusion to my breeding let me tell you) listened to all the incidents and stresses of the past seven weeks or so. She read me the quietly quietly riot act – about my health and my stress and about looking after me.

It appears I’ve burst my eardrum. The GP visit is this Wednesday morning.
She raised issues about my – ah – mental health. I got an appt with my psychiatrist the following day due to someone cancelling. He has put me back on happy pills. The ill-ease this makes me feel (about impact on baby etc.) is massive, but as he said, any side-effect on the baby is negligent compared to the side-effects on the baby from me being this stressed (and depressed) over such a sustained period of time.
She raised concerns over me living with my cracked tooth (a third of which ahs fallen out so it’s kinda annoying) and the risk of it getting infected. I am yet to make the dentist appt. This is purely psychological.
She said I should engage in some alternative therapies. I’m going for acuptuncture on Tuesday week (this is an ultimate indulgence for me). This should help w/ my carpal tunnel, my sinuses, my stress levels, my depression and every thing else…

Thursday I (finally) saw my shrink (who I was meant to see in late Jan/early Feb, but he was relocating and when I rang (twice) to make an appt they were still not set up. And suddenly it was April. After dumping on him all that has been going on with work, Oscar’s support service and Chef over the last four months, the conversation went something like this:
DrJ: How’s your sleep?
K: Broken and restless
DrJ: Waking early?
K: every morning at either 3.38, 4.18 or 4.47
Dr J: And your mood?
K: Highly variable, some days I’m fine, firing on all cylinders and then next I am desolate or angry and then I’m all of those in any given hour
DrJ: Teary?
K: Always.
DrJ: Your appetite?
K: just craving sugar in any form. Fruit juice and soft drinks are featuring quite markedly
… and the prescription pad comes out.

We’re half way through our Easter long weekend – the first one off for Chef in about a decade as the new place he works doesn’t open on public holidays. Ever. The working four weeknights is almost worth it. Yesterday we went down south and saw my Dad and stepmother.
Today we were going to the Royal Easter Show, but it was pissing down rain and quite frankly, I’m 29 weeks pregnant and sleep is a really lovely thing to be embraced as often during daylight hours as possible.
Chef has engaged in some DIY.
Needless to say the floor is covered in wood shavings and I have a new desk.
On the wall back-to-front and with holes in it.
The harware shop is closed tomorrow.
Public holidays off.

Tomorrow we will either go to the show or do a day trip to the Blue Mountains.
Ain’t a long weekend grand.

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  • Badger

    Dude, I had to take so many meds when I was pregnant with the girl child that, as I am overly fond of saying, I’m still waiting to find out she glows in the dark or something. Now that she’s 9 years old it’s blatantly obvious that anything “wrong” with her is genetic in nature, and who knows, maybe the small amount of medication that trickled through the umbilical cord actually did her some GOOD.

    So I am sure everything will be fine with all that.

    Now let’s talk about how in the world you can STAND to walk around with a third of your tooth missing! If I get so much as a popcorn kernal stuck, I am a whining whiner about it every second that it’s in there.

  • meggie

    Please Kim, get your tooth fixed.

  • Joke

    Listen to Meggie & Badger. JUST GO WITH ME ON THAT ONE.

    Remember, life is a results-driven, not process-driven, contest.


  • Em

    I hope you feel better soon. I know about guilt trips and drugs and pregnancy… and I agree with the doctor… you need to look after YOU right now! (Everything else will follow.)

  • Kim

    OMG you’ve all simultaneously morphed into my mother. QUIT IT.


    Thank you for your collective concern – you know, even I have been impresesed by my tolerance of having the outside of the tooth there, able to move the half on the cheek side, and then this great cavernous hole in the middle and between it and the tooth next to it – which fell out when I was flossing. I had every intention of calling the dental surgery the very next day, but you know, a day became, well, about 14.

    So yes YES ALRIGHT ALREADY – I’ll be calling the dental clinic tomorrow.

  • Joke

    I want you to know that morphing into your mother wasn’t easy.

    I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of the memory of those hot flashes, either.


  • Suse

    Did you call the dentist yet?

    (Says she, the woman who is overdue for a dental apptmt by about 2 years. P’raps if you still haven’t done it, you and I can arrange a time to ring simultaneously? You know, peer pressure and cheering each other on etc.)

  • Surfing Free

    I’m glad to hear to are getting the body and brain spruced up! I always think the the birth, breastfeeding, and first couple of sleepless months take more out of you than the pregnancy …. so you don’t want to be approaching that time in less than tip-top condition. Look after yourself woman!

  • Joke

    I’m with Suse.

    Did you call the dentist yet?

    If you think it’s bad when I morph into your mother, wait until I morph into mine.


  • Kim

    You will all be relieved to know I rang the dentist.

    As some form of punishment, the dentist I saw – who I really liked and was finally comfortable with and confident in their abilities – has left.

    The next available appointment with their replacement? 1 May. Despite the fact the tooth is cracked in half and a third of it has fallen out.

    I am trying to find the original dentist, and there are only two people in Sydney with that surname. And freakishly they live in the same street as my sister-in-law. But it’s a home number and I’m reticent to call. I’ll stew on that for a good few hours let me ell you.