Hello

So I stood up for myself on Tuesday morning rather than trying to be considerate/patient/the good one/etc. It was liberating and I felt a little of myself return.

Wednesday I had my midwife appt and gestational diabetes check. Despite the sugar intake of late, I don’t have it. Few. My midwife (who has been one of my midwives on all three pregnancies and on this one, with the hospital redesigning its midwife team program, she is it, my midwife. Very lovely conclusion to my breeding let me tell you) listened to all the incidents and stresses of the past seven weeks or so. She read me the quietly quietly riot act – about my health and my stress and about looking after me.

It appears I’ve burst my eardrum. The GP visit is this Wednesday morning.
She raised issues about my – ah – mental health. I got an appt with my psychiatrist the following day due to someone cancelling. He has put me back on happy pills. The ill-ease this makes me feel (about impact on baby etc.) is massive, but as he said, any side-effect on the baby is negligent compared to the side-effects on the baby from me being this stressed (and depressed) over such a sustained period of time.
She raised concerns over me living with my cracked tooth (a third of which ahs fallen out so it’s kinda annoying) and the risk of it getting infected. I am yet to make the dentist appt. This is purely psychological.
She said I should engage in some alternative therapies. I’m going for acuptuncture on Tuesday week (this is an ultimate indulgence for me). This should help w/ my carpal tunnel, my sinuses, my stress levels, my depression and every thing else…

Thursday I (finally) saw my shrink (who I was meant to see in late Jan/early Feb, but he was relocating and when I rang (twice) to make an appt they were still not set up. And suddenly it was April. After dumping on him all that has been going on with work, Oscar’s support service and Chef over the last four months, the conversation went something like this:
DrJ: How’s your sleep?
K: Broken and restless
DrJ: Waking early?
K: every morning at either 3.38, 4.18 or 4.47
Dr J: And your mood?
K: Highly variable, some days I’m fine, firing on all cylinders and then next I am desolate or angry and then I’m all of those in any given hour
DrJ: Teary?
K: Always.
DrJ: Your appetite?
K: just craving sugar in any form. Fruit juice and soft drinks are featuring quite markedly
… and the prescription pad comes out.

We’re half way through our Easter long weekend – the first one off for Chef in about a decade as the new place he works doesn’t open on public holidays. Ever. The working four weeknights is almost worth it. Yesterday we went down south and saw my Dad and stepmother.
Today we were going to the Royal Easter Show, but it was pissing down rain and quite frankly, I’m 29 weeks pregnant and sleep is a really lovely thing to be embraced as often during daylight hours as possible.
Chef has engaged in some DIY.
Needless to say the floor is covered in wood shavings and I have a new desk.
On the wall back-to-front and with holes in it.
The harware shop is closed tomorrow.
Yup.
Public holidays off.

Tomorrow we will either go to the show or do a day trip to the Blue Mountains.
Ain’t a long weekend grand.

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