Month: February 2007

In other eugh news

I was helping Felix with his homework tonight – you know the drill, the sheet with the sight words, the sound words, the theme words, then the extension words.

Felix quietly said, “I need lots of extra help with these”. When I – oh so gently – asked why he needed more help (knowing full well having got our first “please come and talk with me about Felix’s progress” letter from the teacher) he burst into tears, saying all the other kids were doing harder words and more advanced work etc etc etc.

While I had to muster every maternal pregnancy laden muscle in my body to not cry with him, this kind of thing just breaks my heart.

I asked him how it made him feel. He said sad. And worried.

GOD my children might not look like me but I sure know they’re mine.

I told him that while it was really hard, he had to not worry about what everyone else was doing or what level they were on, and just work hard at the level he was on.
I told him that so long as at the end of every day he could answer yes to the two questions: “Did I try my hardest” and “Did I do my best” it didn’t matter one little bit what level he was at compared to anyone else.
I told him that he was loved and treasured and the most special boy in the universe.
I told him his Mum and Dad loved him no matter what and would always be here to help him be the best he could be.
I ended by telling him that when he was a grown-up, no one would ever ask him what level worksheet he worked on in Year 2.

All the while raging on the inside that this kid was judging himself on how well he could spell rather than the fact he can say things to me like, “Don’t worry Mum, we all have tough days and you just have to take it one part at a time.” or “It’s OK to be sad when someone dies, but you don’t have to worry because you won’t forget them, they’ll always be in your heart.”

He is s.i.x. years old. I’m kinda with him at this point thinking that school is really really suckful, and don’t blame him at all for not wanting to go or indeed for saying to me this morning, when asking if he could come into the city tomorrow morning to see the QEII arriving and me replying in the negative because he had school, “but I don’t have to go every day you know.”

Eugh

Move along. Nothing to see.

Seriously.

I’m feeling the baby more, which is quite lovely.

But that, my friends, is it.

Some firsts for you all…

this came into my head some weeks ago and has been sitting as a draft post for weeks. It came about when I was thinking, “that’s the first time I…” (the first of which I now can’t recall. Thank you FnF*.)

  1. First kiss: Street party, w/ family friend of some neighbours, 16 years old
  2. First grope: Country Party, in a paddock w/ a guy who gave me his cousin’s name as his own, on my 18th birthday.
  3. First time: w/ first boyfriend who was 9 years older, 18 years old (as in I was…not him you filthy minded perverts)
  4. First cigarette: one of H’s Gudang Garangs during schoolies week, just shy of 18
  5. First joint: 19… I think, but it could have been late 18, 18 was a big catch-up year from being the good Christian girl through school
  6. First pregnancy: 1997-1998 (2nd 99-2000; 3rd 05; 4th 06-07)
  7. First job: Kmart check-out chick (although I started in women’s wear)
  8. First (and only) time head-hunted for a job: 1996
  9. First oyster: 1981 or maybe 82
  10. First move out of home: 1992 – to uni; 1995 – with Chef
  11. First repeat dream: c1979 – my family were all different sized squash balls (Dad the biggest, in decreasing size to me) and Dad always yelled at us because we could never bounce high enough
  12. First depressive episode: vague recollections of feeling alone, ‘sad’, inadequate and ‘different’ in Year 2, 1980
  13. First bullimic episode: 15yrs old, Year 8, 1986 – while on the Scarsdale Diet, the main reason I still can not stomach tinned salmon. (haha! geddit, can’t stomach it. God I crack myself up sometimes)
  14. First cake baked: – Year 4 I think, c1982. It was either a White Wings sultana bar cake or its cinnamon tea cake.

So what are your firsts that come to your mind instantly?

You know

Apart from all the crapulence going on in my world at the moment that I can’t talk about, I would be posting more.

Except it is so.fucking.humid. I feel my head may explode.

I seriously H.A.T.E February with a passion normally reserved for directing at vacuous thin people.

You know

I’m such a suck, but GOD I love The West Wing.

In my world which is feeling really dark at the moment, the writing on this show, the pith, the characters give me just a little glimmer of light.

And being in the ABC, without ads, for one and a half hours? Well you might as well dip me in butter and roll me in cinnamon sugar.