but then again, maybe not

Today I wore pants that haven’t done all the way to the top for over 12 months. It was only in the bathroom at work at around 4pm I realised I must have done them higher and tighter than usual as they were giving me a delightful camel toe as well. With the unwashed hair pulled back by a hair comb, I was truly a piece of public sector eye candy let me tell you.
*****
Felix refused to eat dinner. I told him I refused to have fights about eating dinner as that would essentially confirm my morphology into my mother. So he could either a) eat dinner (a delicious chicken and asparagus risotto made by Chef) or b) go to bed. Two hours later he is all “my tummy’s empty” and going to sleep crying. Eugh.
*****
Last night Jasper woke at 3 for the 5th night in a row. All you “just you wait” sayers can stop laughing now. When I got up to him I was hit by a smell of vomit.
Yes.
The smell of vomit was filling our house.
Oscar, from a migraine, had vomited. In his sleep. All in his bed. And down the wall. And rolled in it.
Yeah.

I wrote this yesterday and then got bored.

I’m basically bored.
Bored of my whinging, griping, pitiful existence.

Blah blah blah.

I mean, when I’m excited that I BROKE my breastpump, so actually got something new for this child – and that the new pump came with these really cute little 125ml bottles, and that I even thought a little bottle was ‘cute’, you know the situation is dire.

I’m bored that Amalah is going through what I went through – but getting paid for writing groovy stuff rather than shitty public sector crapology. (not my public sector stuff now, I love that.) You know, when someone embarks on a journey and you’re so jaded, cynical and over it that you can’t even feel happy for them, even though you are, but there’s just a part of you smarting that they’re doing what the rest of us did before but go no recognition for. This probably all comes down to just been miffed she hasn’t mentioned our blog and increased our traffic a hundredfold. But I’m hating that I’m feeling like one of those jaded narky OLD women rather than just enjoying the ride…

Someone got something today that I didn’t and it made me feel all rejected, overlooked and small. How pathetic am I. The fact I’ve reacted like this makes me not like myself very much.

EUGH.

I wrote a comment on the SMH blog about the budget today (that’s me talking – called ‘despairing’) and then a few comments appeared in the vein of “why should the govt pay for childcare, women should be staying home to look after their kids” blah blah blah. And yes, I know these people are MORONS, but it has really got under my skin – and is such a hot button for me I can’t even think straight to formulate a decent reply.

I wish I was a tenth as clever as the girls on GFY.

See lame-O.