I’ve been feeling pretty down. Pretty angry, fed up, worried, anxiety-laden, exhausted, hopeless and well, as a result not very nice to be around. The kids are quiet when they’re around me.

I posted a narky post here late yesterday afternoon, basically bitching and whinging about nothing.

Then I heard this. Literally as I was hitting “Publish Post”. And you know what, it hasn’t pulled me from my abyss, it hasn’t made me pull my head in, suck it up and just get on with it. But it made me pull that post because of how shallow, whingy and pathetic my current mindset is and how I know I should be doing all of the above.

Then this morning, I asked Chef to get up and get boys dressed and fed as I’d been up at 3 with Oscar coughing and then he tagged with Jasper who I was up with until 5. Then I got up, collected all the washing that has been accumulating because GOD FORBID anyone else could do a load, agknowledged that Oscar doesn’t have his splints on, realised Felix wasn’t in his soccer gear, quietly tried to find the resolve that when they get back from a regular Saturday morning apt my Mum takes them to, I will have to redress them anyway. Someone didn’t eat breakfast either.

Anyway, then I flicked on Rage and Pete Murray was on singing this:

Opportunity
So it goes another lonely day
You’re saving time but you’re miles away
Your flowers drowning in some bitter tea
Forseeing lost opportunity
Find your mirror
Go and look inside
See the talent you always hide
Don’t go kid yourself, well not today
Satisfaction’s not far away

Hold on now, your exit’s here
It’s waiting just for you
Don’t pause too long
It’s fading now
It’s ending all too soon you’ll see
Soon you’ll see

Your coffee’s warm but your milk is sour
Life is short but you’re here to flower
Dream yourself along another day
Never miss opportunity
Don’t be scared of what you cannot see
Your only fear is possibility
Never wonder what the hell went wrong
Your second chance may never come along

Hold on now, your exit’s here
It’s waiting just for you
Don’t pause too long
It’s fading now
It’s ending all too soon you’ll see
Soon you’ll see

Soon you’ll see
Soon you’ll see
Soon you’ll see
Soon you’ll see

and I felt just a little bit better.