Friends, Romans, Googlers, please learn to spell…

From time to time we all love to go through those crazy, wacky search terms that bring occasional crazy wack jobs to our blogs.

We pull out all those naughty, weird and wonderful combinations of words that have, somehow, pulled our posts out of the billion-page lottery that is Google, and we have a laugh or vent our spleen. It’s kind of a blogging motif now, and it’s all good fun.

This was going to be one of those times.


I regret to inform that careful tracking of our last 100 or so hits has revealed not one serious kook.

I blame Kim.

Yes. You.

After all, I’ve hardly posted for the past two weeks, so this alarming trend towards family-friendly, Net Nanny hits can only be attributed to You.

Having said that, “mercy+sisters+australia” was entirely my fault and dragged some hopeful to This Post Here. Not much amusement to be had in that other than that we’ve disappointed either a some kin dof heavy metal fan or a devout Catholic. Seriously, though, both groups are surely used to disappointment.

Back to blaming Kim for everything, I present surely the dullest set of four words ever googled: “invisible+shelf+supports+poliform”.

Naturally leading to her delightful Ode To Ikea, which is well worth a re-read so not entirely an effort wasted…

Next, someone came to us via a search for “Sarah Murdoch”. Not of itself a particularly odd, dull OR baffling search as we often use our lack of importance to the A-list to launch petty and vicious attacks on those so much better off than ourselves…

and yet, when I went to find our entry in the search results
I realised
the searcher had gone through
TWENTY-SIX PAGES of results before finally clicking on our link. Not 26 results, folks, 26 PAGES of results.
What did they think?
That if they just kept clicking they would sooner or later find the link that took them directly to Sarah’s personal blog?
The one where she invites anyone who comments nicely to come over to the mansion when Lachlan is out and give her a lovely long backrub?

On the upside, I do have a new piece of trivia: Christina Ricci is the fourth child of a woman also called Sarah Murdoch.
Also, that if Sarah Murdoch does have a blog? She’s not writing it under her own name – !

Can you see why I’m a little disgruntled? Where are the naughty Saudis and the deviants surfing from British army domains? I feel like such a frump.


To keep some slightly edgy sense of self-respect, the almost obligatory “glamorous+mothers+photos” makes an appearance, on this occasion from Dallas, Texas.

It is slightly interesting that Google has decided to include glamorouse with an E in searches for the proper spelling. Nothing like getting a more educated class of pervert on board.

Which brings me to the final search worth any note, and the inspiration for the title to this post.

To wit: “tooth+absys+first” – taking us to the heart-and-sometimes-gut-wrenching account of Kim’s trip to the dentist, which again I can recommend as a good read and well worth another visit.
Kim had sensibly popped a little (sp) next to the word absys and I don’t blame her for that. Abscess is a ridiculously difficult word that could be spelled in about 40 different ways and, as it turns out, probably is. Regularly. On websites and blogs around the world.

And Kim – who has a more tranquil approach to spelling than I – should be extra chuffed to know that while we may not rate a Google mention for “albino period” we come in at a very respectable number three in the world for misspelt mouth infections.

In conclusion to this rambling rant, let me share my favourite quote from the worldwide number two on the absys list:

Marty came over, he had a swollen mouth, he’d just had a tooth out, an absys in his tooth. He bought these beers over and he couldn’t drink any of the beers.

Yup. Poor Marty.
We shore did lik them beers, tho.