With hideous commercial contructs to lure more money out of us as if the Christmas debts aren’t enough it occurred to me that

in my wallowing of days late, I realised I’d almost missed a rather important milestone. Today, 12 months ago, I did a pregnancy test.

Bec was the first one I shared my secret with, that my period was 3 days late. She was all “get your arse to the chemist” and I was all “I will on Thursday when it’s pay day” (GOD how LITTLE has really changed).

Anyway, I was at uni booking in to start my Masters in Professional Writing (Creative Writing) and thought I should get some lunch. It was when my internal monologue went something like, “but I’m not really that hungry, but should grab something as I won’t get time this afternoon and OH GOD I HAVE to have a mango smoothie. Must have smoothie. [heartbeat] Oh shit.” And all while walking through skanky Broadway.

I ONLY ever crave dairy beverages in the first month of pregnancy. Never ever any other time in.my.life. So I scraped together the pennies and pissed on a stick. To put it delicately.

And there he was. Two big bold wehehehe I’m here! blue lines.

And sure enough. He is: