Sunday morning sermon: Cast your comments upon the water and yea, verily shall they return.

Is there anything so lovely as a quiet Sunday morning with the promise of the beach just ahead of you?
We’re going to Balmoral Beach today, which is a great kids’ beach on Sydney Harbour plus holds many romantic memories for the Prof and I as we would often go there way back in the BC days. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, that shadowy patch of rocks and trees in the centre of the island is just one of our many moonlit bonking sites. Oh yes, it’s all coming back to me now and I really must blog about Grandis the Tallest Tree in NSW some time.

But now, to the Sunday Morning Sermon. And continuing with the tree theme, I agree it is annoying when your blog falls in the forest (see where I’m going with this) and no one comments. Probably the main reason this does not bug me as much as it does Kim is that I have not, with one thing and another, been posting as much as I should have.

However, as the heading on this sermon suggests, I only really expect comments when I’ve been out there commenting myself. Hence the Michele game thing, which, if you play along and ignore the few traffic whores who participate obsessively and perfunctorily just to get their Technorati rating up, will also take you to some very lovely people (like the wonderful Mar) who will continue to pop in whether playing the game or not. Also, the regular visiting to people like Suse (your find, I think, Kim?) and Lucinda, who were just fabulous random discoveries.

Now all this is telling no one anything.

My point, Miss Kim, is not that you should go out commenting more often because I know you do (you do do, don’t you?). No, my point is that if you feel your bread has been cast upon the water and that nothing has returned then you have but one choice:

Ditch the New Testament and get stone-aged on their arses.

No more of this passive agressive comment-banning. Get back to these ungrateful swine, these non-returners-of-commenting-favours, and tell them exactly what you think of them.

Here’s some suggestions:

“I’d love to tell you this was a great post but I’m really sick of the way you suck in all my comments and never spit anything back. You are the oxygen thief of blogging and I hope you go viral.”


“Your selfish refusal to return visits or comments has hurt me deeply and leaves me no option but to commence action to remove you from my sidebar and delete all references to you in previous, generous posts on my blog. I can only hope this helps you become a better person in future.”


“Be careful everyone, this blog has nits.”

Of course, these suggestions will only work when the blogger has not opted for comment moderation, but I think you’ll mostly get away with it.

And if all else fails, and we’re feeling really lonely, we can always remove word verification and welcome all spam comments – some of those people are wonderfully polite!

Here endeth the sermon.