I realise it’s only three days after Christmas but my festive charitable spirit has officially fled.

First, I spend the better part of two weeks planning, organising, facing the shops and buying presents. Chef does none of this. Although he joins me for one session looking so pathetically bored and morose it really is a lot easier without him.

I bake for days in stupidly hot weather. This isn’t such a chore as we all know how much I love it, but still, a little recognition blah blah blah.

The day before Christmas, that’s right, on the EVE I face the shops again, with baby in tow, while Chef and the boys LOUNGE around in the pool at the inlaws (it was close to 40C this day) to buy a present for HIS brother as well as buying final supplies for dinner that night with HIS parents and Christmas day. I also buy MY present from Chef as ‘he just didn’t have time’. I can not tell you how that is currently searing a dark black hole into my heart. Petty, yes, still present, naturally.

That night I eventually meltdown as it was SO FUCKING HOT and I did all the cooking (Chef cut up octopus) while he sat outside enjoying the whiff of a breeze and multiple acoholic beverages. Finally, when all was said and done and I got to sit down, the children requested drinks and who did NOT even make motion of getting them? I did crack.

Christmas day was kinda nice, although Chef didn’t give me my present when we were all doing the present thing, as it was still up in our room where I had left it, presuming at least he would WRAP it. But no.

Boxing Day featured another scorcher as we tried to gather stuff up to head to my father’s place for an overnight stay. The boys were fractious, tired and teary. I worked hard to manage them into a state of relative calm so we could pack in peace and with pace. So Mum had to enter the fray. This ended in her having a stand-off with Felix over one of his presents and letting her and Oscar play with it. I finally lost it when she uttered, “I’m not going to let you win”, followed by a value judgement of him “not being very nice” to not share.

I’m still smarting about the whole incident and naturally, she’s trying to pretend nothing happened and everyone’s happy families by just BEING HERE ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Well, that’s actually a lie as I think she can feel the anger and resentment searing out of my very pores so she’s trying to give me a wide berth, but throwing a nice dose of passive agressive interference in there as well.

Oh – another thing, my brother showed up two hours late without his partner, the one he hooked up with over the Net and about 6 weeks after leaving his wife of 12 years and four month old baby. He told me a few weeks back that they had spent $500 on ex-rental videos from their local video shop which was offloading them. I am hoping you understand my incredulity and hurt then, at his present to us which was a $2 scratchie and a cheap-arse box of chocolate sultanas and chocolate sticks. Nothing for the boys. I just love where his priorities lie don’t you?

Bleuchhhh. It’s so FUCKING hot, I’m so FUCKING over it, I just want to sit down, put my feet up and simmer, but other relatives are due to arrive any minute to ‘see me’ (as Mum keeps REMINDING me) and the house looks like a bomb has hit it.

OH, and Chef doesn’t feel well, so after snorning on the lounge as I brought in two of the three loads of washing I did, washed up, picked up a bazillion things off the floor, did FUCKING craft activities with the boys because we have friends who must hate me and gave the boys crafty presents, and sweated like a pig, he went to bed. He’s been sleeping for about 2 1/2 hours now…

Can you feel the rage? CAN YOU?