Right now, all over the world (well, the comparatively wealthy internet connected world anyway) blogging mothers of sensible natures are going: Only With A General Anaesthetic, Dude.
Well for this, of course:
Okay, admittedly that’s not quite the headline they used at MSNBC.
But they shoulda.
Now I had to think for a while as to whether I was qualified to comment on this one.
Baby Number One: the lady down the hall who was induced after me and gave birth before me? Major Screamer. Me? Major Tongue Biter, ending in emergency caesar.
Babies Number Two and Three: I had by then met the gynaecologist’s wife who offered the sage advice, “At all costs, protect your fanny”. So when my OB said, “Hmm, twins now and a previous caesar… well if you really want to try for a natural birth we could possibly…” I whipped out the trusty filofax and booked the elective c-section quick smart.
So what do I know about the screaming?
1. Screaming chick had her baby SOOO much faster than I had mine. Who knew?
2. There are only two ways to a quiet birth: epidural or general anaesthetic. And of these two ways only one will really work because the worst kept epidural secret is? They.Let.It.Wear.Off.Just.When.You.Really.Need.It.
3. It matters not a pinch of shite how much you scream during birth. NOTHING will stop you screaming for the 10 years beyond it.
PS – this one’s for Kim. You still got a bellyful of arms and legs, sweetie?