As I type our third child is a whopping 7 days, 1 hour and 23 minutes old:
This last week has been a tad surreal as I’m sure most could understand. Firstly, I’m still in shock that my body decided to do what it was meant to do and just spontaneously go into labour. Sure, three days late but I’m guessing in labourtime that’s like my standard genetically programmed tendency to be chronically late to the world.
The return to the land of about 2 hours consecutive sleep at any given time has guaranteed a few random outbursts of tears and much simmering crankiness that I am – quite proudly – keeping in check. Funny how when it impacts on your kids not just your husband (as when there is only one) you don’t fly off ‘with that tone’. Some impressive teary moments have been:
– watching Felix just take himself off to bed on his own (normally I sing them to sleep)
– hanging out washing and realising today was going to be the first day of me doing the gig on my own (Chef went back to work today)
– Felix coming to me in tears – “when Mr Bean’s car gets crushed by the tank, it makes me really sad”.
– Dropping my plate last night and seeing my dinner mushed on the filthy floor…
Moments that have made my heart hurt…
– Felix telling me he had a nightmare that birds were circling Jasper and pecking at him. This is just a part of Felix’s current frame of mind that just makes my heart hurt – he’s so worried about something bad happening to Jasper it just takes my breath away. Today I brought stuff in from the car before bringing in Jasper, so Felix raced back out there ‘to keep him company’, then got teary saying to me that it makes him sad to think of Jasper being left on his own.
– Felix making a bracelet – with 6 beads on it – one for Mummy, Daddy, Oscar, Felix, Jasper and Grandmama “because that’s our family and who I love the most”.
– Oscar sitting virtually on top of me when I feed Jasper and just resting his hand on Jasper, ever so slightly patting him and kissing him on the head – at virtually every single feed.
– Felix picking Jasper up to stop him crying tonight as I got Oscar into his pjs – and Jasper blissing out…