Rustling noises from the lounge room. Someone says,”That doesn’t fit inside the vacuum cleaner”. Someone says, “Was that scary enough for you, Chloe?”. Someone says, “My turn!”.
Someone else says, “NO! MY turn”. Someone bigger than both of them screams, “NO MORE TURNS, it’s DANGEROUS!!”
I’m still here in the dark, with my laptop, and my .22
If it’s too dangerous for the seven-year-old it’s sure as hell too scary for me.
The sound of a scuffle. Some bickering. I call the protagonist in.
ME: What’s the problem?
Evil Twin: I say day tan’t hab dis. holds out small packet of plastic widgets.
ME: Why can’t they have it Clo?
ET: hands on hips, knees bending on alternate syllables BEtos it’s DAN-jrous
ME: so you took it away from them
ME: and you brought it to me?
ME: And now it’s safe?
ET: Yes, and day in BIG TROUBLE.
ME: You want me to get them in Big Trouble?
ET: YES! looking delighted the dim adult has finally got the point.
ME: If you keep pulling the laptop cord out of the back like that YOU’RE going to be in Big Trouble.
ET: sighing. Oooooo-Kaaaaay.
ps – further to the upside of the Evil Twin: she took a chickenpox vaccine needle in the thigh yesterday, watched it the whole time and didn’t flinch. Now even the doctor is scared.