How to make me cranky…

Get a Braxton Hicks.
Go to hospital.
Be of the front page of the paper “rushed” to hospital with preterm labour.

PULEESE. It’s like those people who’s baby arrives at 37 weeks and say its premature. No, 37 weeks is full term. Or those people who say they were in labour for 40 hours. No, that is preterm labour and then, those 12, 10 or how ever many hours when you can’t talk through the contractions, when they make you spew, when your body is wracked by real pain – that is labour. Stop the martyrdom RIGHT THERE.

Sure you might be a princess, but a Braxton Hicks is a Braxton Hicks.
“Hello Spade, my name is Spade.”